Wednesday, November 03, 2004

Put your money on MIC'y monkey


Unhappy horse under the M4 approach, nr Shepherd's Bush
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It's almost 3.00am and I'm up watching the US election coverage.
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I'm not actually up to watch the US coverage as I already know who will win. My money's on the Military Industrial Complex. Given that it is fielding the only two candidates, the smart money is backing that particular little pony.

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Yes, the MIC, beloved by conspiracy theorists and, erm, former five star American Generals who went on to become President of the United States. Over to an extract from Dwight D. Eisenhower's Presidential Farewell Address to the Nation in 1961, made just before the Vietnam War got really interesting:

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In the councils of government, we must guard against the acquisition of unwarranted influence, whether sought or unsought, by the military industrial complex. The potential for the disastrous rise of misplaced power exists and will persist.
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We must never let the weight of this combination endanger our liberties or democratic processes. We should take nothing for granted. Only an alert and knowledgeable citizenry can compel the proper meshing of the huge industrial and military machinery of defence with our peaceful methods and goals, so that security and liberty may prosper together.
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That's why they don't teach proper history in schools any more.
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The election coverage was briefly punctuated by a news item about the continuing plight of Margaret Hassan, the British born hostage in Iraq, and several other hostages that have been taken in Afghanistan and Iraq. The kidnappers aren't getting anything like the coverage they got with their first British hostage; largely because they don't understand the UK or US mind. Like the third series of The Shield or the second series of Big Brother, we've seen it all before, have the attention spans of goldfish and the viewer figures are down as a consequence. These fundamentalists are in desperate need of some good PR advice and their whole hostage taking process is in need of a serious makeover. Most significantly, it lacks viewer interaction and, given they often kill rather than ransom their hostages, the kidnappers are failing to exploit potential revenue streams. Any serious action plan would include several elements:
  • Kidnap more 'TV friendly' hostages; photogenic people who your audience can identify with.
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  • Ensure a good mix of hostage personalities.
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  • Don’t rely simply on formal video shoots. Try to work some candid footage in; a difficult visit to the bathroom in chains or a stolen kiss between two hostages; packed full of pathos because it may well be their last.
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  • Get the audience to decide who is executed and when. Have them vote via premium rate phone lines or, for added thrills and excitement, borrow those electronic voting machines from Florida once the election is over. Get Western tabloids involved, with headlines like 'Bag-Dead in Baghdad! Sun Viewers Vote Jade Ugliest Hostage' or 'Head will roll! Saucy Jemma's in for the chop!'
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  • Continue to publish web-based execution videos as promotional items. Hold some footage back for the Special Edition Commemorative DVD featuring behind the scenes footage, hostage and hostage-taker interviews and wide-screen options. Remember, the lucrative Christmas market is almost upon you.
I'm actually quite disappointed the election coverage is on TV this morning, as it has forcibly replaced my preferred fare of Open University programs; including in-depth discussions on Renaissance commode decoration and courses in intermediate Polish. Ah well, they'll be back tomorrow morning.
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Nope, the reason why I am up is because I'm trying to write some creative fiction and failing miserably. I thought the peace and tranquillity of the early hours would help. It hasn’t so far …
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