Thursday, December 09, 2004

A plethora of Paisleys


The Paisley family - spreading the concept of Universal Christian Peace and Love around the World
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Politicians come and go. This is the nature of things. In fact there are only two UK politicians I can recall from my childhood that still figure in contemporary British life; the Queen and the Rev. Ian Paisley. Ian Paisley gets on the tele more.
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I can dimly recall sitting in the tiny front room over my parents shop watching TV as a five year old. The walls were covered with flock wallpaper. In one corner sat a lava lamp. On the tele was Ian Paisley screaming 'No surrendaarrr'.

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Last night, 35 years later, I was sitting in my own, slightly larger, front room. I don't own a lava lamp, my wallpaper has no discernible texture and my television is wider and more colorful than my family's first set. But the Reverand P. was there, larger than life, shouting as best as his 77 year old frame could muster 'No surrendaarrr'.

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Yup, the two sides in the Northern Ireland dispute have once again, for the zillionth time, failed to reach an agreement that would bring peace to Ireland. Apparently, Ian Paisley's bunch want the other side to be publicly humiliated before a deal can be signed.

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Oh hum

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I don't even know if either side can remember what they're fighting for. Their hate is the only thing that sustains them and without it many of them will just fade away.

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When people in this country say that religion is the cause of all wars I would suggest that most of them have a mental picture of Ian Paisley in mind. I don't buy into the religion causes all wars thing. It's unlikely that Hitler invaded Poland over a theological dispute nor did the Americans defoliate Vietnam because they disgreed with the teachings of Buddha. However, false Christians like Paisley cloud the issue considerably. Oi, Paisley, You're supposed to turn the other cheek. Get it?
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Paisley is quite old now and for the last couple of years has been looking quite gaunt. He's got something and he's not likely to be with us much longer. It would be nice to believe that a self-proclaimed man of God would do his very best to leave a legacy of Christian peace before meeting his maker but it doesn’t seem likely. No matter, thought I, nature will take its course and the old emnities will die with Paisley and people like him. That's one of the reasons for not abolishing Death as an institution.
It certainly clears the way for change.
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Then the surprise. A senior figure from Ian Paisley's Democratic Unionist Party was being interviewed last night. He was claiming that it was the other side's fault that the agreement had failed. He sounded like a young Ian Paisley. Actually, he was a young Ian Paisley. His name is Ian Paisley Junior. Where did he come from? Mrs Paisley presumably. 'The old Geezer's about to snuff it. Get Junior on the tele'.

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Bugger.
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To my knowledge, Junior hasn't yet proclaimed himself a Reverand, bought a priest's costume from a fancy dress shop and started screaming about 'Satanic Evil Pope-ery!!!' but it's got to be only a matter of time. A mental picture formed of me sitting in another front room in 35 years time, listening to the same old hate-filled spout two seconds before it was my own time to kick the bucket.
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Depressing stuff.


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